Thoughts Out Loud
by Moonsetta
Summary: First movie fic. What will Leo do with a second chance he's granted?


Ok I've seen the first TMNT movie countless times and I can't help but think of a few if this and if thats so I decided to indulge myself and write one. Now we all have to know Leo's guilt complex by now. This turtle will beat himself up even if one of his brothers just stubs his toe on something lying around. Our miraculous blue banded turtle will find someway to blame it on himself. Yes, I can see all the eyes rolling.

Anyways when Raph was beat up by those Foot ninja and barely alive when he came crashing in through that window what do you think Leo's thoughts were? I bet you one of his first thoughts were, "It's my fault."

Now I know a lot of people want to smack him upside the head when he does that but he just keeps doing it no matter what. Well, I was thinking if Leo had the chance would he have switched places with Raph?

You can just hear the resounding, "Duh."

So this is my version where the fight in April's apartment takes a different turn.

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

"_Fight?" Mikey said._

"_Fight," Don agreed._

"_Kitchen?"_

"_Kitchen."_

"_Yeah."_

_The orange and purple banded turtles got up from their sitting positions on the floor and walked to the kitchen for a snack as their red banded older brother stood at the window, fuming._

"_So what are we gonna do about it!?" Raph shouted at Leo, speaking of their missing father and sensei._

"_What can we do about it?" Leo asked, "April's our only lead to these guys. We have to wait until she comes up with something."_

"_Oh," Raph said in mockery, "So that's the plan from our great leader huh, just sit here on our buts?"_

"_I never said I was your great leader," Leo said calmly, trying to keep from yelling._

"_Well you sure act like it sometimes," Raph said, walking closer, ready to scream in the blue banded turtle's face._

"_Yeah, well you act like a jerk sometimes you know that? And this attitude of yours isn't helping anything."_

_Raph glared, "Well then maybe I'll just take my attitude and leave!"_

Leo awoke with a start and glanced around his dark room. After seeing everything in place, he fell back onto his bed with an exasperated breath. He could never forget that stupid fight that could've lead to his little brother's death. Ever since that day it felt as if an iron block had been shoved into his chest where his heart was, slowing the beating and his very life. He buried these feelings during the day so the others wouldn't be worried. He knew Raph would kick his shell if he said he was feeling guilty about it.

Leo shook his head and closed his eyes, a million questions running through his head.

Why did he let him go?

Why did they have to fight?

Why hadn't he gone after him?

Finally, sleep touched his mind and he was once again in his dreams but this time something felt unusual.

He was standing in an open space and it was white, pure white.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"You wish to change the past?" a feminine voice asked from every direction.

"Who are you? Where am I?"

"Be good young turtle not many mortals receive a second chance."

With that the world turned black around him. He reopened his eyes to find himself in April's apartment and during the day time with his brothers.

"The past," Leo thought and confirmed said thought when the fuming Raph a few feet in front of him yelled, "Well then maybe I'll just take my attitude and leave!"

His red banded brother stalked past him and then Leo automatically thought of the previous words he had heard, "Be good young turtle, not many mortals receive a second chance."

Leo spun around quickly and grabbed his brother's arm, "No! Don't you dare leave!"

"Let go Leo," Raph sneered while glaring at his older brother.

"No you're staying right here with the rest of us!"

"Oh is that an order?" Raph asked tauntingly.

"Yes, as a matter of fact it is!"

"Let go of me!" Raph shouted and pushed Leo back, making him release his hold on his arm.

"Raphael don't you dare walk out of here!"

"Watch me!" he said and turned back to the door.

"No!" Leo sprang forward and pinned Raph against the wall, "You're not going anywhere!"

"Get away from me!" Raph shouted and tried to break free.

This time, during this second chance, Leo said what he had been thinking and what he probably should've said all along, "The Foot are out there."

Raph grimaced and was about to throw out a remark when Leo looked dead into his eyes and said, "They've already taken my father! I'm not going to let them take my little brother too!"

The place grew silent and still, even the crunching of potato chips from the kitchen stopped as the others listened.

It was a few seconds later when Raph broke the silence, still staring at those flaming eyes of his older brother's he spoke quietly and hesitantly, "Leo I-"

Leo closed his eyes, released his hold on his little brother and stepped away, turning his gaze to the ground, "Sorry," he mumbled.

Leo glanced at the door, "I-I need some air," he said, quickly flying out the door and leaving the apartment in a long minute of silence.

…

…

…

"Whoa," Mikey said, "I so, did not see that coming."

"Um," Don said looking around, "I'm awake right?"

They both stared at Raph and waited. The red banded turtle had his eyes focused on the door but if you looked close you could see that he was still staring strait ahead, where he had locked eyes with his brother.

"Do you think he'll explode?" Mikey suddenly asked.

"What are you two looking at!?" Raph screamed, turning his glaring gaze on his younger brothers.

They rushed back to their snacks and started stuffing their faces again, trying not to look at their glowering older brother.

* * *

Leo came out on the rooftop and leaned over the side, staring at the city below. What had just happened? Was he still dreaming? What's this second chance?

Right as that last thought crossed his mind something flew towards him. He heard the wind and ducked just as a Foot soldier turned to slice at him once again. He jumped back and took out his swords.

"I'm such an idiot!" he screamed at himself remembering the rooftop was where Raph had been ambushed and the blue banded turtle had walked right into it!

He caught two other swords swinging towards his head and kicked out as the Foot seemed to multiply around him. Before he knew it, he was overwhelmed and a later shot to the side of his head had him sprawled on the rooftop, unconscious .

* * *

Leo heard the clicking of shoes on a hardwood floor and tried to move but found he couldn't. He felt someone run their hand over his face and he tried to say something but found his throat was just as inactive as the rest of his body. The shoes clicked again and then Leo heard a voice.

"Don't worry, he'll be ok."

April, Leo decided.

* * *

Raph glanced away from Leo and looked up at April.

"Everything's going to be fine, you'll see," she said with a small smile.

Raph couldn't bring himself to smile so he just looked back at his older brother and continued frowning and scowling when his thoughts fled back to that scene.

"_Hasn't Leo been gone a long time?" April asked as they climbed the stairs back up to her apartment._

"_No," Don said, "He and Raph run off all they time. They like it because it's a way for them to vent."_

_Raph didn't listen anymore than that, he was still trying to make sense of Leo's last words to him._

_Suddenly, the window above them shattered and in dropped the form of their eldest brother._

"_IS HE-!?" April shouted unable to finish the question._

"_No, he's alive," Don said, "Barely." _

_Raph looked upwards as Foot ninja started dropping in from above. _

_He took out his sais and had one thought running through his mind, "They're gonna pay for this!"_

The red banded turtle got up from his seat and moved the chair he had been sitting in closer to the bed Leo was lying in. He could hear Casey and Don outside working on the truck and he could hear Mikey and April downstairs cooking lunch. Raph remembered some of the last words his older brother had said to him.

"_The Foot are out there, they've already taken my father! I'm not going to let them take my little brother too!"_

Raph almost laughed at the irony, maybe he would've if Leo would've woken up. Don had said the first 24 hours were critical and that if he didn't wake up there was little, to almost no chance he would live.

Raph looked at the clock they had managed to get working, hanging on the wall nearby:

11:30am.

Raph growled and tightened his hands into fists before allowing his head to fall forward a bit. Eyes placed firmly on the ground he allowed the thought to cross his mind, it had been over 40 hours. Every bone in his body was itching to go back and choke every single one of those foot ninja until they turned blue, but right now he needed his brother to wake up.

* * *

At midnight Don walked into the room to see his immediate older brother with his head resting on his crossed arms as he slept by their eldest brother's side.

"He's really worried," a voice behind Donatello said.

The purple banded turtle turned around to see his little brother standing in the doorway. Don nodded and then they both exited the room. When the door closed Raph opened one eye to ensure they were gone before, once again, taking his brother's hand. He wasn't going to leave. It was vital he be the first one to talk to his older brother if he woke up.

"When," Raph corrected himself out loud, "When he wakes up."

Raph didn't get any sleep, everyone knew but they also knew they wouldn't shake him from it no matter what. Mikey had probably thought he was asleep but Don knew better. The red banded turtle sighed before glancing up at Leo and he was shocked to see his eyelids fluttering.

"L-Leo?" whispered.

He was rewarded as Leo opened his mouth to take a deep breath of air and as he squeezed his eyes before opening them the slightest bit.

"Leo," Raph said in a relieved sigh.

"Ugh, where are we?" Leo asked in a scratchy voice, glancing around the room.

Raph found himself grinning like a fool.

"Raph, what's wrong?"

Raph dipped his head and started to shake.

"Raph are you-?"

Leo's question was cut short as Raph jumped to his feet and sprinted to the door. He ignored the fact he had torn it off of its hinges and started yelling.

"He's awake! He's awake!"

Leo was able to blink once before Raph was back by his side hugging him!

"All right," Leo said, continuing to speak in his scratchy voice, "Who are you and what have you done with my little brother?"

Raph normally would've pulled away, responded with a smart remark and would have been down right humiliated but 48 hours of waiting for the brother you've had all your life to wake up from being in critical condition, well it changed you if only a bit. Raph backed up a bit but never unwrapped his arms from Leo's neck.

"Leo, you're ok, right?"

"Sore, tired, hungry and really thirsty," Leo mumbled, "But other than those things, I'm doing great."

Raph smiled more and hugged Leo tighter, burying his head into his shoulder. Leo, without much conscious thought, wrapped his right arm around his little brother for he couldn't seem to move his left arm.

"I'm glad you're ok," Raph said, "I missed you big brother."

Leo gasped a bit, "You haven't called me that since we were seven."

"It's a Kodak moment," Mikey said from the doorway.

* * *

Just a random idea I had. I know the whole bathtub thing in the movie, it just seemed kind of lame for this story so I changed it. Anyways, sorry if anyone's a little OOC but like I said, a random idea from a random crazy mind.

Ok and anyone reading my story, 'Because We're Brothers,' I'm happy to report the next update will be tomorrow morning. If you haven't read it I promise if you do decide to go read it, it's probably the weirdest TMNT story ever.

Read and Review?

~Moonsetta


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